I dig little graves with my bare fingers
for each drop of life I leave behind
to carry images of the site
because this is where I am going to reside
and we are all going to reside.
The more life stretches, the more I fear
I carry bulk of questions and ask
and no one hears.
I have this desperate desire to know
if I am really leaving to live forever
in a world of no speech and sound
and only subtleties and separation
in promised lands of fear and pleasure
they call hells and heavens.
I know the question is frail and feeble
but I want to know because I find no shame in knowing
Is forever truth?
The forever life
the spirits and the light
seven heavens and seven skies
All the vague thoughts and I are in battle every night
would all those bugs and insects would be nice I crushed under my feet,
when I am buried under the soil in a grave with no light?
Because I fear every next minute I am going to encounter
thought of death and reality of death in parallel
thought of getting ripped apart and seeing my bones shattered
insects feeding on my flesh and my blood getting dried.
I ask and no one answers
I am portrayed with names superficial, fake and not genuine.
But I have this mind that whirls like a dervish
like a nomad that finds no peace in one permanent place
carrying questions enough to make it mad.
What are we?
Who are we?
Why do we even born if death is destination?
Where are we going and where are we from?
I have this soul
punctured and holed
pouring fears and doubts
blocked from the light and its Source
in a room stuffed with sounds
I myself do not know where they are coming from.
An exceptionally talented poet and author, Seemi Asad is from Gilgit-Baltistant. She studied pre-med from Aga Khan Higher Secondary School Hunza and graduated in 2014. She is now studying Audiology and Vestibular sciences from ISRA University, Pakistan. Seemi likes to continuously write with passion.
Misaq-e-Ishq: Pakistani musician, Grammy-winning producer, and Harvard professor to come together at the Aga Khan Museum Toronto